I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about friendships. I have looked back on this almost year that I’ve been living in the “city” (although those folks out here wouldn’t say I live in the “city” because I’m about a football fields length outside the beltway, but whatever!). Those people I used to come down and see just about every weekend prior to my move have very little to do with my life now. I seldom communicate with them and haven’t even seen the majority of them since I moved. Why is that?
Then I look back on the various time phases in my life. I’ve had so many people walk in and out of my life. True friends are hard to come by and it’s almost sad to see. Why is that? Why can’t people hold onto friendships longer and enjoy each other like we’re meant to ? Why do people use and manipulate friends for the short periods of time? And why, WHY when people actually move away do most “friends” refuse to come and visit you in your new place? That’s the one thing I have yet to understand and figure out.
Too many times I’ve asked when I could visit with someone and I get the infamous “let me know when you’re back in the area”.
WHY?
Why is it such an inconvenience to drive an hour to come see?
I’m extremely thankful for the few friends who have done this—thank you.
And then I sit back and think about how I’ve done this myself to some very good friends in the past. I haven’t made the move to go and visit with them. Now, grant it, some have moved all the way to the other Coast, so it makes it a little more difficult to visit, but I’ve even done this to friends who are just a mere few hours away. That’s an easy day trip. Why I haven’t I made a concerted effort to change that?
Which is what I started doing a month or so ago. A good friend of mine has been living in Annapolis now for two years. Last month was the first time I actually went to visit her when she wasn’t back home visiting family. That’s utterly pathetic of me as a friend.
In reality, there are very few friends from my past whom I feel are worth a long distance trip. As of right now, I can think of 5, which is pretty shocking: two in Cali, one in Texas, one in Indiana and one in Kentucky. Are those other friends I once considered my “BFFs” really not lifetime friends, although I regularly communicate with them via social media or text? Maybe. But maybe it also has to do with the support we give each other. Maybe it’s about the support that’s given that isn’t necessarily physical. I don’t need to be with them in order to know they’re still my friends.
People will walk in and out of my life at a constant, fast pace. I understand this. I’m a social butterfly, always meeting new people and making new friendships. I’m also understanding that very few actually last. We may have a few good laughs, a few fun nights out on the town and some meaningful conversations, but the connections I share with a handful of people currently are so hard to come by these days.
Have you experienced this in your life too?
