I had an early Christmas yesterday. With the dawning of the holiday season (*yawn*), I decided what better way to help myself celebrate than to pre-order The Hangover on blu-ray for myself for Christmas? And don’t judge me, guys. I know damn well that while you’re out there at the malls getting in the “holiday spirit” and drinking those super scrumptious coffees from Starbucks that you’re also secretly buying gifts for yourself. We all do it.
As I was watching this hilarious, off-beat movie, I suddenly realized (and I didn’t realize this at all when I was in the movie theater) that it all revolved around love. Love for friends. Love for wives. Love for girlfriend. And I my friends came to a certain conclusion myself about a particular thing: an engagement ring is nothing but a circle of death (yep, just like that damned drinking game).
Yes, I said it. It’s a fiery, burning circle of death. How exactly did Johnny Cash put it? ”We’re goin’ down, down, down in a ring of fire”. Yes, I think that’s quite appropriate here.
I like to admire the suggestive and implicative philosophy of Mr. Big and Carrie Bradshaw (before the movie). Carrie to Mr. Big: “Don’t give me a diamond, just give me a big closet.” Why get married and ruin a good thing? Somehow, marriage seems to change everything. Suddenly babies and dinner dates and other married couples come into the picture. We forget our friends that are independently ours. The laughter in the relationship becomes far and few in between and suddenly, you’re arguing over things like “who’s changing the baby’s diaper?” and “why didn’t you take out the trash right when I asked you to?”
Then there’s the whole sex thing. I have heard (and have witnessed first hand, because let’s not forget folks that I was married once) that sex quickly diminishes when you get married. Now why does this all change even if you’ve lived together prior to the wedding? It all doesn’t make much sense to me. Why does this little ring on a particular finger of your hand have to change the whole perspective and outlook of a relationship?
Have you all seen License to Wed yet? If not, it’s definitely one for those people to see who think they have this “perfect” and “stunningly amazing” significant other (*gag*). No one’s perfect. And no one’s that in love. If you can prove me otherwise, please let me know. And it has to be from behind closed doors because we all know that the relationships that look perfect on the outside (Stepford wives, anyone? and yes, that link is for real) can be the ones that have the most problems.
I’m not degrading marriage, so don’t take it that way. I’m only saying that why does it change everything?
{ 2 comments }
I don't know from experience, but I have seen a lot of my friends get married thinking their relationships are infallible, suffer for a few years, and then finally face what they knew was coming. I've had 3 friends who have recently broken off engagements at the last minute because they realized that they weren't ready for such a committment.
I think marriage might work for some people, as long as they know that it will never be perfect, and that there will be huge problems that they will have to deal with- and they are ok with that. Personally, I am not planning on getting married. I would love to have a lifelong commitment, but who really knows what kind of changes will occur or how they will feel in 25 years. I know my grandparents are still happy after over 60 years together, but I think their expectations for life and marriage were so much different than ours are today. Then you have my parents who were (I thought) happy for 35 years, and then my mom decided 5 months ago that she no longer loved my father, nor wanted much to do with her children. I think maybe she was unhappy all along and grew resentful of her life. I'm not sure, but it has definitely gotten me thinking about it lately.
Sorry for the forever long comment! Great post!
I don't know from experience, but I have seen a lot of my friends get married thinking their relationships are infallible, suffer for a few years, and then finally face what they knew was coming. I've had 3 friends who have recently broken off engagements at the last minute because they realized that they weren't ready for such a committment.
I think marriage might work for some people, as long as they know that it will never be perfect, and that there will be huge problems that they will have to deal with- and they are ok with that. Personally, I am not planning on getting married. I would love to have a lifelong commitment, but who really knows what kind of changes will occur or how they will feel in 25 years. I know my grandparents are still happy after over 60 years together, but I think their expectations for life and marriage were so much different than ours are today. Then you have my parents who were (I thought) happy for 35 years, and then my mom decided 5 months ago that she no longer loved my father, nor wanted much to do with her children. I think maybe she was unhappy all along and grew resentful of her life. I'm not sure, but it has definitely gotten me thinking about it lately.
Sorry for the forever long comment! Great post!
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